Leadership Principles from 1 & 2 Samuel
An out-of-control family
If you read the story of Eli in 1 Samuel, it’s clear that God used him as a spiritual leader. For example, Eli led Israel as a priest for forty years and he helped prepare Samuel to become a very influential and godly leader. But Eli unfortunately had a major blind spot in his life, and that blind spot had to do with how Eli managed his household. Eli’s sons were out of control.
This passage tells us that – “Eli’s sons were scoundrels; they had no regard for the Lord.” (1 Samuel 2:12) Eli’s sons took advantage of their father’s position as priest and would treat the Lord’s offerings with contempt, and even to sleep with the women who served at the tent of meeting (2:13-17, 2:22). Could you imagine the controversy that this would start up in your church in the pastor’s sons were sleeping around with prominent women in the church?
Eli’s had lost control of his household and of the assembly he ministered to as priest. God ends up rebuking Eli’s household severely and even ends up taking his sons lives (2:34, 4:10-11) and says that he will raise up a faithful priest in his place (2:35).
Someone might say – “Well it’s not Eli’s fault. He’s not responsible for his son’s actions. We can’t make our children act or behave a certain way.”
And this can be true up to a certain point, but in this particular case God makes it very clear that Eli could have and should have done something to manage this situation better by saying – “Why do you honor your sons more than me…?” and “I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons blasphemed God, and he failed to restrain them.” (2:29, 3:13) Eli was passive with his sons and he shouldn’t have let this situation get so out of control.
Eli mismanaged his household and it had devastated effects on him personally, among his family, and among those he led in the assembly of God.
Is family our first ministry?
In the New Testament, Paul talks about qualifications for the type of men that should lead God’s church. This is one of the several conditions he places for high level leadership:
He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 1 Tim. 3:4-5
Something that we don’t consider enough as leaders is how God wants us to be good leaders at home first, and then good leaders at church second. In fact, the passage tells us that it isn’t even possible to be a good leader in the church unless we can lead our family well. This means that we need to give substantial time and effort to leading our families well.
I’ve heard that “back in the day”, a well-known bible school use to teach their up and coming ministers this principle – “Take care of the church and God will take care of your family.” How tragic! Sadly, many Christian leaders operate more or less under this principle for so long that it become too late to heal the damage done to their family and to their church.
This is weighty… But let’s not get crushed.
For all of us that are married and are parents, we can instantly feel the weight of this responsibility. Managing our households is no easy task.
For myself personally, I recognize that this is an area that I will always need to grow in. It’s easy to get hyper focused on ministry work and not dedicate adequate time to my wife and children. It’s easy to just “coast” and to not invest intentionally in those closest to me.
But although this is indeed a weighty call, we cannot let ourselves be crushed by the weight of this responsibility either. God will help us along the way if we seek his help. He also isn’t going to lay an impossible expectation before us, and he also knows our condition. We are all under construction, a constant work in progress. The goal is to keep growing and to continue to walk alongside Jesus.
Questions to reflect on…
What is the current condition of your household? Are you intentionally taking time to be a spiritual leader for your wife and children? What are some practical things that you can do to grow in this area? How do you see your leadership at home impacting your leadership in ministry? In relation to this topic, in what areas do you most need help from God?